Sources of Encouragement {From One Mom to Another}

Shortly after Sally Clarkson's annual Mom Heart Conference at the beginning of this year, I did some online research and compiled a list of moms I could find online who had attended one of the three conferences and shared what they had learned and how they had been blessed.  Before I knew it, the hype of the conference had passed and the information I had gathered - but hadn't had the time to finish and post - seemed to be old news.  With Mother's Day being tomorrow however, I felt compelled to blog about the sources I have received encouragement from as a mother.  It seemed a perfect time to pull up this draft and complete it!

Now there's a lot here and I don't expect you to read it all in one sitting.  So maybe Bookmark this post or Pin it to refer back to when you're needing a little more refreshment.

Here's a glimpse into the 2012 Mom Heart Conferences that were held in February.  For those of you not familiar with the Mom Heart Conference, you can read about the one I got to attend a couple years ago here.

Heavenly Glimpses:
In Which I've Contemplated Hiring Sally as Supernanny {And the Mom Heart Conference!

Moms In Need of Mercy:
The Mom Heart Conference:  Encouragement, Rejuvenation, Inspiration

I Take Joy:
Training My Princess

The Farmer's Nest:
Mom Heart Conference 2012 {Recap}

Inspired to Action:
The Best Advice I Heard at the Mom Heart Conference

Raisin' 4:
Mom Heart Conference Meets GMG!

Women Living Well:
Top 10 Quotes on Motherhood

Nunez News: 
Mom Heart Conference {A Mom Like Me} - Part 1
Mom Heart Conference {The Importance of Daily Fellowship} - Part 2
Mom Heart Conference {Becoming a Heart-shaping Mother} - Part 3


Posts on Sally Clarkson's Facebook Wall:

Whittney Bevington Hoyler 

‎"You are the Bible your kids are reading." - Sally Clarkson

Jennifer Brown Crawford
"No mom alive will ever be perfect, or even always adequate.  But for those who serve in a spirit of love and joy, there will always be strings of living connection between the heart of a child and her mom, tying them together forever."  Gotta love Sally Clarkson!

Laura Heimer Warrick 

If you have little boys who need to brush up on manners, I have a book to recommend to you. Good Manners for a Little Warrior by Kelly Chapman (she has a princess book too) is a winner. I got it at Sally Clarkson's Mom Heart Conference this weekend, kind of as an after thought, and read a chapter to Jonathan (6) and Joshua (4) earlier this evening and they ASKED for the second chapter before bed AND Joshua tried to smuggle it to bed.

Kimberly McCuistion 

Is there a way we can access Joy's video that you showed at the conference in Dallas? I was telling my husband about it and wanted him to hear what Joy had to say and how well she said it because she does it so well :). Her topic is one we've discussed and went back and forth on and I really like her perspective on the whole thing! She is very inspiring and convincing :). Thanks!

Sally Clarkson 

PEOPLE FROM THE CONFERENCES HAVE BEEN REQUESTING THAT I POST JOY'S SPEECH, SO HERE IT IS! 

Theresa Horton Miller

Those of you who know of or follow Sally Clarkson (or have never heard of her before, but are passionate about raising up a family of leaders), you may not want to miss this [blog post]. Also included is Sally's 16-year-old daughter's speech that blew me away at her recent conference! 

Natalie Haber

I heard this video at the conference. I prayed a small prayer a year ago asking the Lord to help me raise my children the way he was showing me. "I have no idea how to do that I told Him" He answered my prayer through Sally Clarkson. He has graciously humbled me and continues to open my eyes to where I have been stuck on rules and formulas. Leading me to the path of His joy and freedom:) I hope this blesses you to!

In closing, if you're interested, here are some of the sources I have gone/go to, as a mom, for encouragement, inspiration, instruction and refreshment:

Books

Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity by Sally Clarkson

Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ's Example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children by Sally Clarkson

Dancing With My Father: How God Leads Us into a Life of Grace and Joy by Sally Clarkson

Heartfelt Discipline: The Gentle Art of Training and Guiding Your Child by Clay Clarkson

Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies by Steve and Candice Watters

Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations by Alex and Brett Harris

Start Here: Doing Hard Things Right Where You Are by Alex and Brett Harris

The Duggars: 20 and Counting! by Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar

A Love That Multiplies by Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar

(Note: To get what I like to call my "Dose of the Duggars," I go here to watch episodes from their TV show!)

Blogs: My Online Oases

Arielle Elise 
Grace 2 Be
Money Saving Mom
Aimee Weaver
I Take Joy
Mom Heart Blog

Q. Who has helped you form your parenting philosophies?  What resources have greatly impacted the way you parent?

Oh What Consolation!

Sally Clarkson's Mom Heart Conference is going on right now up in Irvine, California.  Last year I got to go for the first time with a small group of women from my church.  What an experience it was!  It was so inspiring and encouraging!  From that conference, a once-a-month Mom Heart Group was birthed.  All five of us ladies who went to the conference have been studying through Sally Clarkson's book, The Mission of Motherhood, plus an older mom who was asked to lead our group and two other new moms who were invited to join us.  We have two more meetings left.  Unfortunately, none of us were able to make it to this year's conference.  I really felt I could use some refreshment.  Lately, with a [fairly] new baby in addition to the 2-year-old I already have and my husband in his last semester of college before grad school, I've felt very stretched trying to meet four people's needs every day.  And then there's the uncharted realm of discipline my husband and I have been stumbling through ever since our oldest daughter became a toddler.  We've gotten mixed opinions from other Christian parents on what the Bible means when it mentions in the Proverbs disciplining a child with a "rod."  I honestly haven't felt right from the beginning about spanking a child that can't talk yet.  But when I did a word study on "rod," looking up its original Hebrew meaning... rod was a literal rod.  It wasn't symbolic of [insert method of discipline].  Okay, so I'm one that tends to lean towards trusting that God knows what He's talking about 'cause He made everything and knows how His creation works and sees the future and knows how everything is going to turn out.  So who am I to question how God says to discipline?  So that settles it, right?  Well, not exactly.  My husband and I tried to come to an agreement that we would reserve spanking for, you know, the "big" stuff, for deliberate disobedience.  But even when we followed through with that plan, we noticed a result in our daughter that we haven't liked; she starts hitting and kicking.  How do you explain to a toddler who's still learning how to talk that it's not right for her to hit us, or her sister, or things when she doesn't get her way, but that it's okay for us to "hit" her when we're not getting our way with her?  What really made me think was one day when I was giving our oldest a time out for swinging at her baby sister and I told her, "It's not nice for you to hit your sister.  Would you like for someone to [oh...] hit you?"  So yeah, we've been desperate for awhile when it comes to knowing how to discipline our children as Christian parents, so I finally ordered a used copy of the still out-of-print book by Clay Clarkson, Heartfelt Discipline.  I ordered it to get some more clear direction on this issue and as a consolation for missing Sally's conference this year.

And what should I find in the mail the night the Mom Heart Conference began in Irvine (as I was hoping it would be the night it would arrive)?  A like-new copy of the book Heartfelt Discipline!  I literally thought in my head, "Oh what consolation!" and proclaimed it to my husband out loud when I came in the front door from checking the mail.  So I set my notes from last year's conference, my copy of The Mission of Motherhood that I'm still doing a study through, my copy of Dancing with My Father that I've been reading through for personal encouragement, and my newest addition to my Clarkson collection, Heartfelt Discipline, on the counter and lit a candle Sally Clarkson style!

So the next best thing to getting to go to a Mom Heart Conference?  Having a Mom Heart Group that I get to be a part of, where I can get that refreshment I've been needing as an overwhelmed mama lately.  Having my own copy now of Heartfelt Discipline so my husband and I don't have to feel like we're floundering around when it comes to trying to faithfully and lovingly discipline our 2-year-old daughter.  Getting to read the reports from moms who did get to go to a Mom Heart Conference this year like here and here and reading Sally's follow-up thoughts after she spoke at the Mom Heart Conference in Colorado.

Plus, if I was in Irvine last night, I wouldn't have gotten to enjoy eating dinner with my handsome husband (or help him work on a desktop publishing project for school later that night) and witness my 2-year-old daughter paint pizza sauce all over her face (which I'm sure I wouldn't have thought was that cute or funny if Gregg didn't offer to clean her up afterwards).

And I wouldn't have gotten to wake up to greet my lively Leala and enjoy spending the morning with her or gotten to be with my cutie, Adella (who I was unknowingly pregnant with last year at the conference) in the comfort of our home and watch her get closer to being able to grab her feet.  There is a time and season for everything and this year it was my time to keep applying what I've gleaned from Sally and be thankful for what I have.

Note:  If anything else is shared online about this year's Mom Heart Conference, I would be more than happy to add the links on here!

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Sunday, January 5, 2012 Revision

This mom shared some of the things she learned on her Facebook profile:

Tracy Schulte
Sally Clarkson, so refreshing for this mama's heart! A few tid-bits...
A happy mom is a real gift to her children.
Discipleship takes a long time, but it changes hearts.
I am the PERFECT Mom for MY children.
Put down the work and pick up the child. [LOVE that; it's been stuck in my head since I read it!]
Guilt kills a soul.
Moms are advocates for their children, doing everything they can to make sure they make it in the world.
Guide. Inspire. Encourage.

AND...

She did it!  Adella touched her feet for the first time last night!  I knew she was getting close to doing it!  I love watching the different stages of my girls' growth.

Rest in Relationships

This last week has been a great turn around from the previous weekend's meltdown, feeling overwhelmed with my role as a mom and stretched trying to meet my husband's needs while he works full-time and finishes his last semester to earn his B.A. in English Literature.  It had to have started with a prayer.  I was feeling so down Monday morning; unmotivated, discouraged.  I tried to pray myself out of it, look into my girls' precious faces to boost my spirits, but I was stuck.  I had to get up out of bed though.  I had to take care of my girls.  As I went about my morning routine, it's like a switch was turned on inside of me.  All of a sudden I was encouraged.  When my husband came home for lunch I asked him if he had prayed for me.  He had and I had felt it.  Feeling someone's prayer for you is an amazing experience.

Since then I've been able to enjoy life as a mom.  I've been able to have patience during disciplining my 2-year-old.  I've actually taken the time to cherish my 3-month-old instead of taking care of business (changing diapers, nursing), then putting her down to move on to the next task.  I think that may have been some of the source of my stress lately.  I think I've been too task-oriented since Adella was born.  When Leala was born, I took the time to just be with her.  Now that I've gotten back to relaxing with Leala and making sure I spend relational time with Adella, I have more peace in my life.  I was recently going through my notes from last year's Mom Heart Conference since I won't be able to go this year, and one of the things Sally Clarkson had shared was that, "Busyness creates harshness."  I know that's true in my life.

So instead of seeing Leala burying herself in a pile of clean laundry that needed to be sorted, folded and put away as a hindrance to me getting a chore done, I had fun laughing with her each time I "found her" hiding in the heap of clothes.  Instead of busying myself with tasks, I've enjoyed taking the time to stroke Adella's soft cheek, pet her furry head, do things that make her smile, let her practice gripping with my fingers, show an interest when she tries to talk.  When Leala has reached her arms up to me communicating that she wants me to pick her up, bring her to the couch and snuggle with her while we watch a movie, I haven't bypassed her because I have things to do.  Instead I've been thankful for the fact that God made her to be a snuggler and have taken the time to encourage that part of who she is.  And as I've been taking the time to enjoy my relationship with my girls, I've been blessed to watch the relationship that's been blossoming between Leala and Adella as sisters.

Another relationship I've found rest in this week is my one with God.  Since I've started my 4-month Bible reading plan on Monday, I've felt God speaking to me a lot more than I've allowed Him time to previously.  Being disciplined in this area has definitely had a positive impact in my life. That impact would also include how I interact with my husband.  There's been less tension and better communication.  [laughs] It's almost a joke now, when I'm easily irritated, disrespectful or stressed, Gregg will ask me, "Did you read your Bible today?"  I definitely feel a difference when I do.  And it shows, like it has this past week, in the way I relate to my girls and my husband.  When I allow God the time to fill me up, I most certainly have what I need to pour out in to others.

Those Good Ol' Goals

Leala got an Alphabet Games DVD from one of my aunts for Christmas and it has definitely helped to add more words to her vocabulary.  One of her new favorite words from the DVD is "Goal" which is a highlight for the letter "G."  It goes more like "Goooaal" and we have fun seeing who can say the word the longest, which once I pass her [way] up, gets Leala laughing.  I thought posting up a screen shot of the word "Goal" would be a fun way to blog about mine for 2012.  So here's my online checklist:

• Get the day started with prayer and reading my Bible
• Read more with Leala
• Get the girls outside once a day
• Start potty training Leala
• Stay up-to-date with my girls' monthly development (through What to Expect)
• Work my way down to a healthy weight according to my BMI
• Be more faithful with weekly meal planning and grocery shopping
• Discover different kinds of food to cook for my family
• Find more ways to save our family money
• Keep being supportive of my husband's schooling
• Try to plan at least once-a-month dates with my husband
• Enjoy reading through some more books with my husband
• Get more organized with scheduling (with the help of these free downloads)
• Stay in better touch with family and friends

One of my personal philosophies is, "Life is too short to not follow through with your good intentions."  Regularly reminding myself of how short life really is, helps give me the motivation I need to make my life as productive, impactful and beneficial as possible.

I love this quote from my 2008 The Purpose Driven Life calendar:

"You weren't created just to consume resources - to eat, breathe, and take up space... You were created to add to life on earth."  {Rick Warren}

"We are... created... to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  {Ephesians 2:10, NIV} 

P.S. I just found out that one of my husband's goals for this year is that we tune into Focus on the Family's daily radio broadcast.  We're now listening to this one.

Learning Their Likes

As she's grown older, learning what Leala likes has been fun.  Today I was reminded that she likes lollipops.  I think she started liking them when she first associated them with the letter "L" in her Dr. Seuss's ABC book:

"BIG L
little l

Little Lola Lopp.
Left leg.
Lazy lion licks a lollipop."

Hey, look at what I found on YouTube - Dr. Seuss's ABC!  How fun!  I'll have to show this to Leala.  In my opinion though, I read it better... plus I make it interactive [laughs] including buzzing, counting, itching, sneezing, and tickling!  By the way, "L" is at 4:20 into the video.

Adella, we've learned, likes to be free (as a bird?).  She doesn't like to be swaddled.  She likes to be able to stretch her legs (which I definitely had felt in the womb!), [laughs] and as we captured last night, her arms in this case.

Now that nursing a newborn and changing her diapers every couple of hours has become routine and my husband and I have been able to catch up on more sleep, I've been able to have my special snuggling moments with just Leala again, and despite my previous concerns, Adella has gotten my special one-on-one attention too.  I think it's because of these cherished moments that I've gotten to have with my girls both together and individually, that I've been able to observe how uniquely God has created each one of them to be.

Cultivating Our Children

Rainy days make me want to ONE, bake and TWO, read.  I haven't really done either on this rainy day, but I guess you could count sifting through the email in my Gmail Inbox and checking out a few blog entries as reading.  Some pleasure reading through a novel was more what I had in mind though.

See Cookie Recipe Below

Anyway, one of my emails was one of Sally Clarkson's recent blog posts and it captured my attention.  [laughs] Just check out the title:  If you really love your children, turn off your computer, cell phone and tv and read!  I've read the articles in Parents magazine about the consequences of children watching TV at a young age.  I've even read Sally's thoughts in older posts about not having the TV babysit your kids and being intentional about reading more with them.  I've read it, I know it, and I agree.  But the reality is Leala has been tech savvy since probably about the time she turned 1.  I don't know whether to be embarrassed or proud of her ability to turn on a TV, turn on a DVD player and insert a DVD.  It wasn't until one day that she couldn't turn on the TV when she pressed the Power button that I discovered somewhat of a solution.  My husband must have recently installed our surround sound system and forgot to plug the power cord to the TV back into the outlet.  So now if we don't want her to watch anymore TV, we unplug it.  I would much rather have the TV and media players hidden behind the doors of an armoire, but that's not currently in our budget.  So we can only really limit her TV watching time by unplugging.  The other thing is I'm on the couch about 8 times a day nursing Adella and I don't have the freedom or ability to sit down with Leala during those times and encourage her to use her free time in more creative, interactive ways.  I would love to sit down with her and inspire her to play with her toys or to open a book, but when I'm stuck on the couch with her baby sister, having the TV on is the best way I've found to keep her in one place.  Left on her own, she usually ends up wandering somewhere in the house where I can't keep her from getting into trouble.  And "blanket time," as shared in the Duggar's book 20 and Counting!, only really works at least once a day (but is still an awesome training tool!).

Alright, so enough rambling about what I can't do (partially with the intent of getting good advice from other mothers or caretakers of children out there).  How about what I was inspired to do?  This blog entry from Sally coupled with the chapter I just read and studied, Gardener of Souls, from her book, The Mission of Motherhood, inspired me to ONE, start making it a daily routine to read a book with Leala, like the 2 times a day that she runs to her special spot on the couch to drink her warm milk, and TWO, to purchase Baby Colors by the photographer Rachael Hale.  In her book, Sally shared how she, "was always on the lookout for beautifully written and illustrated children's books that reflected moral excellence, family values, and a reverence for nature or God and that delighted the mind and heart," and when I was browsing online, trying to decide how to spend the last $8 of some birthday money I was given, the beautiful board book from Rachael Hale came to mind.  I remember seeing it in the book section of a store once and hadn't seen it again when I looked for it.  This book I think will be a great way to share my love for photography with my daughters and will maybe spark in them their own sense of creativity when they're older.  And hopefully it'll be the first one in a collection of picture books I'll be able to get from Rachael Hale for Leala and Adella in the future because browsing through her other books online, I've decided she's one of my favorite photographers.

I love this whole concept of "cultivating" things in our children from Sally's writings.  Looking up the definition to "cultivation" added more to the idea:

"cultivation, n 2. development, especially through education, training, etc.  3. culture or sophistication, especially social refinement."

And introducing our children to good books is just one of the ways we can cultivate them!  In closing, I really like this analogy from Sally:

"As a garden cannot flourish without a gardener, neither can a child reach his or her potential without someone committed to careful cultivation.  Just as a garden without a gardener will eventually go to seed and be covered over with weeds and debris, a child whose growth is unsupervised or left to chance will likely grow wild and undisciplined or stunted and unfruitful." 

{Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood, 142}

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Maple Syrup Cookies

Amish Friends Cookbook

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 tablespoon milk

1 egg

1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons shortening

1 cup maple syrup

3 cups flour

3 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 (8 oz.) package semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In small cup, dissolve baking soda in milk and set aside.  Cream egg, shortening, and syrup.  Add flour, baking powder, salt, vanilla, and baking soda mixture; blend well.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Drop by teaspoons onto greased cookie sheet and bake for 12 to 15 minutes. 

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Oh, the Sweetest Thing

I got the U2 song playing in your head now, don't I?  Well, it's playing in mine.  

It was a clever title, what can I say?

I've had quite a few good titles piling up and things to write about, but not the time or our computers' cooperation in the past few weeks.  And too bad I got inspired to blog about my girls towards the end of my 2-year-old's nap and at about the time I'll need to nurse my 3-week-old again!  Oh well, hopefully this will make it up before my husband gets home and has to use the laptop to work on one of his essays for school.

Click on Image for Full-Size View

So, I was browsing Facebook and noticed that my mother-in-law had created an album on her profile titled "Adella Hope" filled with pictures she took of Adella and Leala during her visit here at the beginning of the month.  I was so surprised when I saw the picture she took of Gregg kissing Adella in the hospital.  I remember him doing that and not having my camera within reach to capture the special moment.  I only vaguely remember my mother-in-law snapping the picture. But she did, she captured it (thank goodness)!  Then excitedly I remembered the picture I took of Gregg kissing Leala when she was a newborn in the hospital!  Since several of you have told me that you really liked the other pair of twinsey photos I posted of Leala and Adella, I decided to post another set.  It's amazing to me that both of these sets of pictures were taken by coincidence.

Speaking of candid, unrehearsed moments captured on camera, I caught Leala holding Adella's hand from the other room while she was eating her snack and watching Jelly Telly online earlier today.  I was only able to sneak this one shot before Leala realized I had entered the room and was taking her picture.  It's moments like these that encourage me to keep seeing the best in my daughter, especially since lately my husband and I have been seeing what people must mean by "the terrible twos."  I've been tempted to take my daughter's fits personally and start seeing her as an irritation.  I've lost my patience and have gotten frustrated.  But sweet moments like these remind me of Leala's potential for good and I want to keep being the one who believes in her as opposed to becoming one who would make a habit of disapproving of her.  It reminds me of the things I read from Sally Clarkson recently about building strong relationships with your children:

"... as we accept and encourage our children, we will teach them to be encouraging in their own relationships.  Children who are constantly criticized will tend to be negative and critical in their relationships with others.  When children feel appreciated and encouraged, they become encouragers themselves, sources of life and hope in an often discouraging world."  {The Mission of Motherhood, p. 133}  

What do you know, I actually finished this post in one sitting!  Time to nurse Adella now, for Leala to wake up from her nap and my husband to come home from work soon. 

In the Stillness

Click on Image for Full-size

I was catching up on the events of online life this morning since I haven't been on the computer as much lately due to Gregg needing the laptop more often for school and me nesting like crazy with my due date being right around the corner!  One of the things I came across was this post my friend, Arielle, blogged on Tuesday.  I couldn't believe that on the same day she shared about the need to be still in the midst of this busy season of her life, God spoke to my heart, "Be still" when I was feeling restless and desperate to find something to lift me up spiritually.  So I sat down on the couch in my living room and just watched and listened to the refreshing rain that had begun falling outside and answered God's call to be still in His presence... 

"Be still, and know that I am God."

{Psalm 46:10}

Since the summer, I had gotten back in a routine of reading at least a chapter a day in my Bible in the morning and would get to spend a little time in prayer before Leala woke up.  But being at the end of my pregnancy, getting out of bed in the morning has been harder, and my days now begin with Leala crying for someone to come get her and take care of her.  I have learned how important that simple prayer each morning of, "Dear God, please give me the love and patience I need to care for Leala today," has been as I look back and see how the past couple weeks have gone without it.  They've been filled with days of frustration with Leala, raising my voice in impatience and irritation with her, and just overall stress.  My friend, Arielle, was so right when she wrote, "I am filled up so that I can be poured out again" and going through Sally Clarkson's book, The Mission of Motherhood on Tuesday mornings, I am well familiar with her similar maxim of, "You can't give to your children what you don't have yourself."  In fact, the night before, in preparing for my Tuesday morning study, I was convicted after I read about how Jesus served His disciples the night before He was going to go through a brutal crucifixion (chapter 4, The Servant Mother; p. 63-65).  He had every right to be served by them, but instead, He set the loving example of serving them, even knowing that they all would leave and betray Him when He was arrested.  So in light of Jesus' example, being at the tiring end of my pregnancy and facing the impending labor and delivery of my baby is no excuse to treat Leala the way I have.  I want these final days with just her before her baby sister comes, to be filled with special one-on-one memories, not filled with mommy being a stress case.

So in my spiritual lack, God met me where I was at and gave me the solution to my problem: "Be still."  And when I was obedient, not only did He sweetly and beautifully speak those words to my heart, but these encouraging words from the worship song, None But Jesus, came to my mind:

 

"In the quiet, in the stillness I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence I know there I am restored 

When You call I won't refuse...

There is no one else for me, 

None but Jesus

Crucified to set me free...

So when You call I won't delay...

All my delight is in You, Lord

All of my hope, all of my strength

All my delight is in You, Lord, forevermore..."

Change of Seasons

What a beautiful, cool, crisp morning to begin the Fall season.  It makes me feel like having a warm mug of hot chocolate (or enjoying the next best thing I have available in my pantry: Ovaltine).  In fact "warmth" is what I think Fall brings.  The warmth of delicious things being baked in the oven.  The warmth of family and friends being brought together to celebrate the holidays.  The warmth of the season's spicy scents like apples and cinnamon, pumpkin and ginger, cider and cloves.  The warmth of bundling up in a cozy jacket or slipping your feet into a pair of soft slippers.  I love the changes this season brings.  

Q.  What does Fall bring to you?  I would love to read your comments about what traditions you celebrate this time of year!

Speaking of celebrations, a couple days ago we celebrated my daughter's second birthday.  This has been a new season I have enjoyed as well.  I love hearing the new words Leala is able to say every day or watching the things she's able to accomplish all on her own.  And speaking of traditions, I started one with Leala last year on her birthday.  She got this really cute little pink crown with one of her birthday presents and I had a 12 month size dress that I had been holding on to for a special occasion since it was given to me at a White Elephant Gift Exchange the December of the year before.  So on her first birthday, September 21, 2010, I dressed her in that special dress, put the cute crown on her head, and took the first of her annual birthday pictures.

Click on Image to Enlarge

This year, when I was shopping for notebooks for my Women's Bible Study group, I spotted these really cute princess tiaras at the Dollar Tree.  I was able to go back for it after I was given some birthday spending money.  I also had a hand-me-down dress I had in the back of Leala's closet that I had saved to be worn for her birthday.  So on Wednesday, starting at noon, the time she was born 2 years before, I shot her second annual birthday pictures.

Click on Image to Enlarge

As I mentioned in my last post, Discovering the Mission of Motherhood, I loved Sally Clarkson's suggestion at the end of chapter 1 in her book The Mission of Motherhood, to start a book for each of your children, writing their story in it and adding to it each year as they grow.  It reminded me of the opening scene in What a Girl Wants and when I found the movie stills online to give you a visual of what I was talking about, I forgot that Amanda Bynes's character, Daphne Reynolds, got dressed up each year on her birthday too.

When I finally do get Leala's little book started, I'll make sure to post pictures of it on here for you all to see.

Discovering the Mission of Motherhood

As I posted in My Mom ♥ Matters back in February, I discovered The Mission of Motherhood when a friend and mentor gave me the book by Sally Clarkson before I gave birth to Leala almost 2 years ago.

Those last couple of weeks before Leala's due date were precious as I prepared my heart as best as I could to be a mother.  Sally's words were encouraging, inspiring, affirming and confirming.  Finding a kindred spirit blessed my heart and my spirit so much!  I wanted to share her message with other women but felt inadequate at the time since I didn't have any mothering experience yet.  I felt my intentions were good, but that it probably wasn't the right season yet...

Since then, I got to go to a Mom Heart Conference at the beginning of the year with 5 other women from my church who after wards, got inspired to start a Mom Heart Group.  We started meeting once a month at the end of spring and I've gotten to meet 2 new moms through that group.  And now, about 2 years later, I have been given the opportunity, with another woman from my church, to lead a weekly Women's Bible Study through The Mission of Motherhood!  Now 6 other moms are being introduced to the book for the first time and I've found more like-hearted women to fellowship with and learn from! 


Introduction:  Hearts and Hands

Last Tuesday was our first meeting and I wanted to make something special for our ladies.  After reading through the Introduction to The Mission of Motherhood, I got inspired to design a keepsake bookmark from one of Sally's quotes on page 3:

"...the fundamental mission of motherhood... to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and [H]is purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully."

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I printed the schedule for our study on the back of the bookmark, laminated them, and included them with hard covered notebooks I found at the Dollar Tree.  Both my co-leader and I wanted to make our table feel homey since Sally is always writing about creating an inviting environment with lit candles, a bouquet of flowers, hot tea, yummy treats, etc. (and I remember the Mom Heart Conference being set up that way too), so my co-leader bought a bouquet of flowers to adorn the middle of our table.


A Journey Like No Other:  Discovering the Mission of Motherhood

Today chapter 1 was discussed.  The plan was to share what stood out to us from the chapter, go over the 4 questions in the Something to Think About... section at the end of the chapter, and see if any of the women did one of the suggestions in the Something to Try... section.  I personally liked:

"Put pictures of your family or favorite snapshots of the kids in a prominent place where you can see them during your prayer times.  Use these pictures as a joyful reminder as you pray for your family or as you plan the priorities of your life."

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I had read a similar suggestion in another book, so I finally got around to setting something up.  I used a frame I had lying around, a piece of fabric, and some lace to make a bulletin board.  I attached a quote I like about love and a couple of my favorite pictures of my husband and daughter.  I hung it up on the wall where I would see it first thing in the morning, next to my bookshelf that holds my alarm clock, and the Bible and books I'm using for devotions, study and spiritual encouragement.  I'm looking forward to adding a picture of the baby once she's born in a matter of weeks and maybe an updated picture of Leala after she turns 2!

As for buying a blank book and writing the child's story in it, adding to it every year as they grow, I would like to do that, but have never gotten around to starting Leala's.  I bought a book for her I think before she was born, but I'm not very good at sitting down and doing scrap booking.  Maybe the task seems so big and overwhelming that I don't even know where to start.  But I love the idea and before too much more time passes, I hope to try this suggestion.  The birthday scrapbook the character Daphne Reynolds (Amanda Bynes) has in the movie What a Girl Wants is an inspirational start.

Yesterday, while reading through chapter 1, I got inspired to create a centerpiece for our Women's Bible Study table from Sally's following quote:

"... I have come to picture the heart of each child as a treasure chest.  Each chest is empty and needs to be filled with the riches of unconditional love, spiritual nurture, and the emotional heritage of family and traditions; with mental stimulation that comes from excellent sources of truth, morality, and inspiration; with a sense of physical and emotional security; and with guidelines for all of life, including purpose, relationships, and proper behavior.

Each child whose treasure chest is full will have abundant resources on which to draw in the midst of life's demands."

 

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I signed up to do the childcare this morning so I don't know what was discussed in the group concerning the chapter.  However, I went ahead and wrote down what stood out to me from the chapter and answered the questions.  Since I've already written down highlights from chapter 1 in my notebook for my once-a-month group, for this weekly study, I decided to write down a list of affirmations I noticed this time. So here's a glimpse into my notes:

♥ Affirmations:

"... motherhood, while demanding, is one of the most fulfilling and meaningful roles a woman can fill." (p. 8)

"The mother who reaches the heartfelt needs of her children by helping them feel loved and secure, by believing in their dreams, by noticing when they stray and gently steering them back in the right direction, and by teaching them what they need to know to live full and meaningful lives accomplishes a great work for the Lord." (p. 14)

"... those foundational years in the life of a child - those same years when I sometimes thought I was accomplishing nothing - have a lasting effect on almost every aspect of the rest of that child's life." (p. 14)

"A mother's relationship with her child is one that will encompass a lifetime.  How blessed is a child who has that anchor of strength and support." (p. 14)

"The mission of motherhood is strategic in providing the next generation with wholehearted, emotionally healthy, and spiritually alive adults.  It is not simply a lifestyle choice.  It is a divine calling that will indeed affect eternity... in my acceptance of [H]is call, my children can rest in the peace and security of my commitment to them." (p. 16)

"God had a design in mind when [H]e created the family.  When we follow [H]is instructions and design, we emerge as a productive, flourishing family.  God's Word gives us the instruction manual to [H]is design." (p. 17)

For Thought and Reflection:

1. (Psalm 127:1) The success of a godly family is that the LORD builds it.  Anything we do that's not following God's path is done in vain (having no real value or significance; worthless, empty; without force or effect; futile, fruitless).

2. (Psalm 127:3) God views children as valuable as an inheritance (a heritage) and He has meant them to be a reward (a gift) from Him.  This contrasts with the view that children are an inconvenience, an extra expense, a burden, an irritation, or a consequence.  This verse is foundational for me as a mother, helping me keep a godly perspective when I'm tempted to feel otherwise.

3. (1 Thessalonians 2:7) The attitude the mother has in this verse is that she cherishes her children.  I really do count it a privilege to get to stay at home everyday with Leala and I feel like I can honestly say that I delight in my daughter daily.  But I have to pray every morning that God would give me the love and patience I'll need to care for Leala that day.  I do get frustrated and tired and have to rely on God for strength and wisdom to parent the way that's pleasing and glorifying to Him.

4. (Titus 2:4-5) The older women are supposed to teach the younger women good things including loving their husbands, loving their children, being discreet (able to make wise choices and decisions), pure, homemakers (managers of the home), good, and being obedient to their own husbands.  When we obey these standards, as I had heard it said once, we make God's Word attractive and I think we prove that God's Word is true like I read in my devotions recently, "As for God, His way is perfect, the word of the LORD is proven..." (Psalm 18:30).


Recommended Resources

I have been blessed over the years by the ministry of Revive Our Hearts, whether through their 20 minute radio programs or True Woman blog.  This chapter reminded me of a few radio programs or blog posts that have ministered to me related to Psalm 127:3 and Titus 2:4-5.  These resources have either encouraged me to be a better wife and mother or challenged the way I viewed having children:

• Why Have Kids?
• Start Your Family Series: Stewardship Over Your Fertility
• Start Your Family Series: Are There Enough Children in the World?
• Start Your Family Series: The Rewards of a Parent's Sacrifice
• Choosing to Delight In My Children
• Embracing God's Gift of Children Series: A Full Quiver
• Embracing God's Gift of Children Series: God's Provision for Children
• Feminine Appeal Series: A Mother's Example
• Feminine Appeal Series: Loving Our Husbands
• Feminine Appeal Series: What True Love Looks Like

When You're Pregnant and Can't Sleep

You get out of bed to lessen the feeling of all the bumbling your baby's doing inside and make your nightly trip to the restroom to try to make more room.  Since your mind's wide awake running through a mental list of the things yet to be done to prepare for baby, you go ahead and hop online to hopefully provide an outlet for your thoughts, leading to eventual sleepiness.

• Find affordable, modest nursing cover.  Check.
• Get driving directions to nearest baby resale store to take advantage of Labor Day sale.  Check.
• Remind yourself of what you need to pack for the hospital.  Check.
• Look up ways to relieve labor pain since last time you discovered you had a very low pain tolerance and have imagined that not having the luxury of an epidural this time may be a possibility.  Check.
• Drowsily finish this post, head back to bed, making another restroom stop along the way...

What's In a Name?

"I read in a book once that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I was never able to believe it.  A rose just couldn't smell as sweet if it was a thistle or a skunk-cabbage."

Such a memorable line from Anne of Green Gables and I agree!  Despite what Shakespeare wrote, I do believe that there's a lot in a name.  At least Gregg and I put a lot of thought into the names we pick for our children.  We care about what it means, how the name sounds, and the story we will tell each of our children of how we came to pick their name.

With our first baby, when we found out it was a girl, Gregg said he liked the name "Heart."  Eh... not for a first name.  But it made for a beautiful middle name once we found a first name we both liked.  I remembered a baby name website I had stumbled upon on the Internet that had the option of searching names by meaning.  I thought it was pretty cool how in the Bible, when parents named their children, it either described them after they were born, or foretold who they would become when they grew up; the names had meaning.  So I thought picking a character trait to name our girl after was a great idea.  I thought, "What does this world need more of?"  The word, "faithfulness" came to mind.  I thought about how contracts and commitments are constantly being broken these days, even though signing a name on a legal document is supposed to put weight on the agreement being made.  So my hope was to raise a daughter who would one day fulfill the meaning of her name; to be an example of the beauty and endurance of faithfulness to a world that has been disappointed and injured by disloyalty, whether of a legal or relational nature.  So I went to the website, typed in "faithful," and 5 girl names came up.  "Leala" was the winner!  Not only did it sound beautiful, but it was of Old French origin which goes well with the French Canadian heritage I have on my mom's side.  Gregg and I love telling people that Leala's name means "loyal, faithful heart" and I hope when Leala is old enough to hear the story for herself, the thought, care and meaning that was put into her name will make her feel special and valued.

Now with our second baby, once we found out it was another girl, agreeing upon a name wasn't as easy.  First of all, I was in shock that I wasn't having a boy!  My pregnancy differed so much from my first, I was convinced it meant that I was having a boy.  Gregg and I talked a lot about what we wanted our boy to be named and there was no argument about it.  But when Gregg set his heart on a girl name that had come from a joke I made when we thought I might be pregnant again, I wasn't too happy.  My memory of the name's origin was as follows:  Gregg was playfully poking me in the stomach and I jokingly said, "Don't!  You might poke Ruthie Anne!"  Where that name came from, I have no idea!  It turned out I wasn't pregnant at that time, but Gregg remembers us feeling fond about the possibility and there being a look of joy and peace on my face about having another baby.  I really was moved when he recounted this story to me last week, his eyes all moist by the end.  I thought it could win him a featured spot on Extreme Makover: Home Edition.  But seriously, I did care that our daughter's name meant a lot to him... but it meant a lot to me too and I just could not imagine writing "Ruthie Anne" or "Ruth Anne" on our baby's birth certificate.  Yes, it bothered me that "Ruthie/Ruth Anne" was so common.  Yes, it bothered me that the sound of that name didn't seem to go with "Leala" at all.  And most of all, it bothered me that her name really came from a joke.  How could I get around telling that part of the story?  "Go ask your dad?"  But what started eating away at me the most recently was that picking a name for our child should be bringing us closer together, not putting us at stubborn odds against each other.  What we needed was a compromise and thank God (literally), He gave us one!  Gregg wanted "Ruthie Anne," I wanted "Adelina," and Gregg was willing to go with a variation he had found, "Adella".  He felt "Adelina" had too many syllables and I could see what he was saying.  "Leala" and "Adella" are a perfect-sounding match and ummm... after who knows how many hours of labor and how many painful pushes, I am most definitely willing to write "Adella Hope Fields" on her birth certificate than "Ruth Anne!"  Gregg came up with the middle name which we both loved and the other night we realized that we unintentionally were carrying on his mom's tradition of picking middle names for our kids starting with the same letter.  Kinda cool since I got influenced by the Duggars this summer (Gregg and I totally got hooked on 17, 18 and 19 Kids and Counting) with the idea of picking matching names for our kids so no one feels left out.  So now us girls have matching sounding names (Yolanda, Leala, Adella) and Leala and Adella both have middle names that start with "H."  Joy and peace at last and I have to say it is so sweet when Gregg puts his mouth up to my tummy to talk to the baby and addresses her as "Adella."


P.S. A story I think is really cute about picking baby names is Chrysanthemum (hence the picture of the flower in the beginning of this post).  My aunt let us borrow her Scholastic Video Collection and that has been my favorite story so far.

P.P.S. The truewoman.com website has a cool article on 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Children which I think also makes for a good list of ideas of character traits to name your kids after.