In the Stillness

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I was catching up on the events of online life this morning since I haven't been on the computer as much lately due to Gregg needing the laptop more often for school and me nesting like crazy with my due date being right around the corner!  One of the things I came across was this post my friend, Arielle, blogged on Tuesday.  I couldn't believe that on the same day she shared about the need to be still in the midst of this busy season of her life, God spoke to my heart, "Be still" when I was feeling restless and desperate to find something to lift me up spiritually.  So I sat down on the couch in my living room and just watched and listened to the refreshing rain that had begun falling outside and answered God's call to be still in His presence... 

"Be still, and know that I am God."

{Psalm 46:10}

Since the summer, I had gotten back in a routine of reading at least a chapter a day in my Bible in the morning and would get to spend a little time in prayer before Leala woke up.  But being at the end of my pregnancy, getting out of bed in the morning has been harder, and my days now begin with Leala crying for someone to come get her and take care of her.  I have learned how important that simple prayer each morning of, "Dear God, please give me the love and patience I need to care for Leala today," has been as I look back and see how the past couple weeks have gone without it.  They've been filled with days of frustration with Leala, raising my voice in impatience and irritation with her, and just overall stress.  My friend, Arielle, was so right when she wrote, "I am filled up so that I can be poured out again" and going through Sally Clarkson's book, The Mission of Motherhood on Tuesday mornings, I am well familiar with her similar maxim of, "You can't give to your children what you don't have yourself."  In fact, the night before, in preparing for my Tuesday morning study, I was convicted after I read about how Jesus served His disciples the night before He was going to go through a brutal crucifixion (chapter 4, The Servant Mother; p. 63-65).  He had every right to be served by them, but instead, He set the loving example of serving them, even knowing that they all would leave and betray Him when He was arrested.  So in light of Jesus' example, being at the tiring end of my pregnancy and facing the impending labor and delivery of my baby is no excuse to treat Leala the way I have.  I want these final days with just her before her baby sister comes, to be filled with special one-on-one memories, not filled with mommy being a stress case.

So in my spiritual lack, God met me where I was at and gave me the solution to my problem: "Be still."  And when I was obedient, not only did He sweetly and beautifully speak those words to my heart, but these encouraging words from the worship song, None But Jesus, came to my mind:

 

"In the quiet, in the stillness I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence I know there I am restored 

When You call I won't refuse...

There is no one else for me, 

None but Jesus

Crucified to set me free...

So when You call I won't delay...

All my delight is in You, Lord

All of my hope, all of my strength

All my delight is in You, Lord, forevermore..."